Lovehoney, a British sex toy company, it surveyed 2,000 American adults to find out if they had ever faked an orgasm, if they could detect a fake orgasm, and if a partner who makes noise during sex influences their overall sexual satisfaction.
The survey included a quiz to test people’s true orgasm detection skills providing three pre-recorded orgasm rumors, one real, one fake, and one porn-style orgasm (which you can guess about it here).
The results found only 35% of the surveyed adults were able to choose the true orgasm.
Sexuality psychologist Dr. Laurie Mintz told Lovehoney why people fake orgasms and how to talk to deal with the issue with a partner to make sex more satisfying.
People fake orgasms to end sex sooner, to please their partner, and because they were tired, survey data suggests
The results of the study suggest that 60% of adults in the United States have faked an orgasm. The majority of people surveyed said they faked an orgasm to have sex, to make their partner happy, because they were tired, or because they thought orgasm in bed was intended for them.
While the study suggests that faking an orgasm is common, the study also found that people are willing to admit to faking an orgasm under the right circumstances. About 30% of respondents who had faked an orgasm said they would tell a long-term partner, 29% said they would talk to a spouse, and 25% said they would talk overnight.
You should talk to your partner about what you want instead of fake an orgasm
Mintz, a professor at the University of Florida, said Lovehoney people should never fake orgasms with their partners if they are in a safe and consensual situation.
While you may be trying to spare their feelings, counterfeiting could inadvertently hurt your sex life.
“For women in particular, forgery teaches a partner to do exactly what doesn’t work for you,” Mintz said. “Being honest about what a man needs or wants in the room – before, during, and even after a sexual encounter – is what will result in orgasm and sexual satisfaction.”
Mintz offers an “out-of-camera conversation” to discuss different ways you two can experience.
Developing communication in the room and incorporating words like “faster,” “slower,” “harder” or “sweeter” can help tell your partner what it feels like, Mintz said. Watching her masturbate can also show both what she likes to others and how much she likes to be touched.
If you don’t feel comfortable admitting that you’ve faked it, you can suggest ways to make sex more enjoyable for you.
If you don’t feel comfortable telling your sexual partner that you have faked it, you can find a way to suggest new sex toys or techniques.
Mintz told Lovehoney that she had a client who faked an orgasm with her partner for 30 years and couldn’t bear to tell him.
“I suggested she say something along the lines of,‘ I really love you and I love our sex life. I read about how for most women, clitoral stimulation (e.g. with a vibrator) before, during, or even after sexual intercourse, promotes orgasm. I would love to experiment with this. Are you open to what? ‘”