- It’s common to feel like you want to last longer in bed, especially if you ejaculate prematurely.
- To last longer in bed naturally, slow down the movement and use condoms or pause-squeeze method.
- You can ask your doctor or a sex therapist about pelvic floor exercises, numbing medication, and Viagra.
- Visit the Insider Health Reference Library for more tips.
If you’re worried you’ll end up in bed too soon, you’re not alone – around one in three men in the American report that she had problems with premature ejaculation. It is unclear why this happens, but scientists think it is a combination of psychological and biological factors.
If you are not able to have sex for the time you want, there are several strategies that can help.
How long does the average person last during sex?
According to a 2005 study performed in five countries, vaginal sex usually lasts about 5 to 6 minutes.
It’s much longer than what the adult film industry often portrays: sex will last for hours, which can give a false idea of how long sex should last, he says. Jamin Brahmbhatt, MD, urologist at u PUR Urology Clinic of the Orlando Medical Group.
However, it is important to note that there is no correct time for sex to last and it’s up to you and your partner to decide the optimal time for you two.
Because you can’t last as long as you want
It’s common for men to finish too soon every now and then, but if you almost always ejaculate after less than a minute of sex, you may be diagnosed with premature ejaculation.
It may be difficult to pinpoint exactly why this happened to you, but here are some common culprits:
- Psychology: Studies show that anxiety, especially anxiety about your sexual performance, is linked to premature ejaculation. Feeling depressed, stressed or guilty can also make you more likely to end up quickly. Men can also experience premature ejaculation at higher rates if they have to poor body image or are victims of sexual abuse.
- Experience: Your level of sexual experience can also influence the length of your bed. “Men can also culminate faster if they don’t have sex often or this is the first time they engage in any sexual activity,” says Brahmbhatt.
- High amounts of free testosterone: Studies show that men with premature ejaculation tend to have higher levels of free testosterone, Which can lead to symptoms such as loss of energy and low sexual desire. However, scientists say more research is needed to determine why this is the case.
- Hyperthyroidism: Premature ejaculation can also be caused by hyperthyroidism, a condition where the thyroid gland in the neck it produces too much of a hormone called thyroxine. Researchers are not sure why thyroid problems affect your sexual stamina, but after being treated for hypothyroidism, men are much less likely to experience premature ejaculation.
How to last longer during sex
If you are struggling to finish too soon, here are 12 things you can do that can help.
1. Get support from your partner
Your partner’s support can be an important part of the process. “To begin with, tell your partner that you want to try to last longer, and ask your partner if they are interested in this,” he says. Vanessa Marin, MFT, a licensed sex therapist in private practice.
This can help your partner understand what is happening and help you talk openly about any feelings of frustration. Once communication is open with your partner, you can discuss exactly what triggers your orgasm and try to practice the following methods.
2. Use condoms
Since premature ejaculation can be the result of hypersensitivity, using a condom is a simple solution that can make sex last longer. The condom forms a barrier around the penis that deafens the sensation and can lead to delayed ejaculation.
3. Learn the pause-squeeze method
The pause-squeeze method can be done while having sex or masturbating and involves:
1. Have sex until you feel like you are about to ejaculate.
2. Next, pull out and tighten the tip of your penis to several seconds, or until the need to ejaculate passes.
3. And finally, continuing to have sex and repeating the technique as needed.
“The theory is that you stop the flow, let the penis rest, and then go back into it to increase your time,” says Brahmbatt.
Brahmbatt says this can be one of the most difficult treatments for premature ejaculation because it requires a lot of self-control. Practice repeatedly and communicating clearly with your partner can help ease the process.
4. Do pelvic floor exercises
Yours pelvic floor the muscles are located just below your prostate and your rectum and like the other muscles, they can be strengthened through exercise. Experts believe that if your pelvic floor muscles are too weak, it may be more difficult for you to delay your ejaculation.
To flex the pelvic floor muscles, act as if you are trying to prevent fish or from passing gas and feel the muscles move. To tone these muscles, follow these steps:
1. Tighten the pelvic floor muscles – you can bend or sit if this eases.
2. Keep the muscles tense for 3 seconds.
3. Relax the muscles for 3 seconds.
4. Repeat the exercise as many times as necessary.
To get good results, you have to try to do it three sets of 10 repetitions every day.
5. Slow down your roll
Pushing quickly creates intense stimulation and can make you more likely to orgasm after a while. Pushing quickly can also make it harder to recognize more subtle sensations in your body, and you may not realize that you are close to orgasm, says Marin.
“Try to move at a slower pace, and regularly take a few breaks to move extra-slowly,” says Marin. You may be surprised that some partners would like a slower movement, especially at the beginning of sex.
Positions that limit your movement, such as having your partner at the top, can also be useful because you are not able to lose control and start pushing too fast.
6. Change positions
When you change position, you need to take a break and slow down your movements.
“You don’t get as much stimulation during the transition, so it allows your body to cool down and get away from orgasm,” says Marin.
Positions where you can’t penetrate so deeply can also help, such as a spoon position where you’re the “big spoon”.
7. Try edging
Border it’s the process of getting to the edge of an orgasm, then stopping to cool down before giving birth.
To last longer during sex, repeat the embroidery process as many times as possible, says Marin. Since you are not allowed to orgasm and take periodic breaks, you will naturally last longer.
8. Masturbate before sex
Masturbating before sex can help you last longer, since your body will not be as sensitive to sexual stimulation, says Marin.
It may take some trial and error to figure out how long before sex you have to masturbate. Because if you masturbate right before sex, it can be hard to get an erection again, so soon. But if you orgasm too many hours before, you can be completely reset from the moment you have sex and ejaculate too quickly.
Basically, you want to find that sweet spot where you lower your stimulation but don’t kill your sexual desire, says Marin.
9. Distract yourself
Another option is to distract yourself with other thoughts, including something mundane like what you’re eating for dinner or a movie you saw last week. This can help clear your mind of the pleasant sensations you are having and can briefly delay ejaculation.
However, it can also take away your sex pleasure and your intimacy with your partner. You can try and see if this method helps you last longer at certain times, but in general, remember to be present and connected with your partner during sex.
10. Talk to your doctor about numbing medications
Prescription numbing medications use ingredients such as lidocaine and prilocaine, which usually come as creams or sprays that decrease sensitivity, and can be a useful way to treat premature ejaculation.
Removal creams or sprays should be applied carefully to the penis 20 to 30 minutes before sex to be the most effective. You should also wash the cream before having sex so as not to affect your partner.
“Make sure your partner knows you’re using it – as a conditioner and also to make sure they don’t have a history of allergic reactions or a problem with their use,” says Brahmbatt.
11. Take Viagra
Although sildenafil (Viagra) is generally prescribed to treat people who have trouble maintaining an erection, research exhibition which can also help with premature ejaculation.
A 2007 study found that Viagra helped men with premature ejaculation last longer and was more effective than the stop-squeeze technique. At the end of the study, 87% of subjects using Viagra said they wanted to continue this treatment, compared with 45% of subjects using stop and squeeze.
12. Talk to your healthcare provider or sex therapist
Talking to your healthcare provider can help you review your health history and determine which of the above options are best for you.
A sex therapist can also be a valuable resource, especially if you think your premature ejaculation is linked to a problem such as anxiety or lack of experience.
For example, sex therapists can help identify your emotions before or during sex that may influence the speed of orgasm, or help teach you how to do kegel exercises to strengthen your pelvic floor.
Take away the Insider
Premature ejaculation is common, and can cause difficulty in your own sex life or relationships. Fortunately, however, there are many methods to stay longer in bed, including medication, exercise and sexual techniques.
You may also want to talk to your partner about the problem so you can work on it together. And if all else fails, consider seeing a doctor or sex therapist who can help you navigate the process.