Seriously, what the hell is going on inside Samus’s Morph Ball?

Image: Nintendo / Nintendo Life

Over the holidays, we are re-posting some of our best articles, interviews, opinions, and talking points from the previous 12 months. from both employees and participants – Articles that we think represent our best of 2021. In them you will find our usual mixture of thoughtfulness, frivolity and retro. expertise, nostalgia for games and, of course, enthusiasm for everything related to Nintendo. Enjoy!

V Metroid The series now turns 35, and over that extended period, Nintendo has happily tweaked everything from its star’s childhood to the messy parent-killing nightmare of Ridley, the Metroids, the Chozo, and even Phazon’s creepy evil clone. In short, almost every line of knowledge you can think of has been explained, detailed, detailed in the sequel, and then given a well-defined place in the vast Metroid canon.

All but one. The exact workings of Samus’s Morph Ball – a staple of the series from the first minutes of the first game – remains shrouded in mystery. Official information about the smallest details of this ubiquitous skill is clearly absent. “Collect this to give Samus the Morph Ball ability.“,”Click to make her curl up into a ball– the games say regardless of format, as if such a simple instruction could ever quench our thirst for science fiction ball morphing knowledge.

How it works? What happened to the unfortunate souls who experienced prototypes? What bird-brained scientist looked at this legendary armor and thought:Do you know what abilities this massive rocket suit needs? Curl up into a tiny ball so it can roll anywhere… “And who on Earth (or SR-388, or Zebes, or wherever) looked this person in the eye and said: “Yes, that’s a great idea and you definitely don’t have to go and lie down for a bit.“?

What is it like rolling inside a metallic orange ball on the surface of an alien planet, or is it still plunging into lava? Nintendo won’t say anything, so we had to come up with a few theories on our own …

Metroid fusion
Image: Nintendo

# 1 The Cronenberg Body Horror Theory

Guiding the spirit of the almighty Occam’s Razor, we can assume that the simplest theory is correct: Samus can curl up into a ball because her body effectively transforms into a comfortable spherical shape during her inhuman rotations, transforming into a splashing mass of fluid and bone fragments, which then return to the initial state, when it stops rolling, thanks to Chozo technology, which for us is often indistinguishable from magic.

Her eyes and brain are likely to remain intact and gyroscopically stabilized during this activity, because how else will she see where she is going? If she still had a mouth, she would let out a blood-curdling cry of unimaginable agony, but luckily for everyone, she doesn’t.

This is the real reason Nintendo never tells us everything, because if they did, Metroid fans around the world would have nightmares for years. It’s enough to make you wonder why she can’t just crawl.

Metroid Zero mission
Image: Nintendo

# 2 The Electric Chozo Oneness Theory

Fortunately, Metroid Prime offers a less dire alternative to the byproduct feature described above. Samus’s 3D walks fill the gaps between the Morpho Ball skin with eye-catching bright light … uh, things.

We can only conclude that Samus was transformed into a pure energy form, her mind and body reaching an extremely spherical state of sensitivity. We speculate that this lack of anything approaching a traditional body makes it difficult for her to feel nauseous as she spins and accelerates endlessly around the curved surfaces of Tallon IV (and elsewhere) when it’s all crumpled, though if she’s somehow has managed to lift her no-lunch from her no-stomach through her no-mouth to her no-self, can anyone say?

Defenders of this theory point to an interesting philosophical state dubbed Wom Schrödinger, where she is simultaneously covered in both sick and healthy until she returns to her standard human form.

Metroid prime
Image: Nintendo

# 3 Shrunken Samus Theory

Samus controls the Morpho Ball, shrinking to size at will, once again thanks to the inexplicable and highly flexible powers of the Chozo mage. technologies

Hence, two main schools of thought arise, which then quickly branch out in completely different directions. Some believe she runs inside a ball like a hamster released for training, the suit’s often opaque armor being the only thing that preserves her dignity, while others speculate that tiny Samus is sitting in a tiny Samus-sized swivel chair using a console controller. … – a suitable form for navigating around the world, viewed through an equally compact monitor.

Both theories adequately explain another mystery: how can she store an endless supply of those little wall-destroying bombs that she somehow carries with her everywhere. If she can shrink herself, then she can probably shrink them too, automatically reshaping them whenever she needs to punch a hole in the floor or add some height.

It also increases the likelihood that the entire Chozo race will actually be in perfect order and live exactly where it used to be, due to a disruption in population reduction technology that reduced them to Picori proportions.

Super Metroid
Image: Nintendo

# 4 “Hey Samus-chu!” Theory

As we all know Samus the best, like no one has ever been and she really has to catch them all – provided that “they are all” – Space Pirates and / or Metroids. So it only makes sense that Morph Ball is actually based on cutting edge Poké Ball technology.

And as we all know, Poké Balls work … they work … they probably work a lot like Morph Balls.

The assumption that this theory is correct allows us to draw two very important conclusions. One; Timeline Samus is a dark future in which famed Pokémon Trainer Ash was killed at a defining moment in history, allowing Ridlianni and the Space Pirate Squad to spiral out of control. And two; inside the Morpho Ball incredibly comfortable

Rumors that our heroine of the space hunt did not speak in previous games because she has not yet learned to voice anything other than “SAMUS! Saaaaamus! Samusamus?”Currently not proven.

Poke morph ball
Image: Nintendo / The Pokémon Company

# 5 “It’s just a convenient gaming device” theory

We will include him simply out of empathy for his believers, not because he has any real merit.

There are those who insist that “It doesn’t really matter nerd“And that Samus takes on a spherical shape because it’s a small and mobile shape, just a shape that’s instantly recognizable at any resolution, and requires little or no real animation to roll convincingly across the screen.

We urge such misguided people to re-examine the above alternatives, or at least point us to a journal entry that they think supports a crazy idea like this.

Which of these theories do you think is the most correct, or do you have a completely different idea of ​​your own? Ever wanted Nintendo to explain this at all? Let us know by voting in the poll below and scroll down to the comments section to reset your own Power Bomb …

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