Gaming

FromSoftware’s Elden Ring Fans Argue Over Horse Genitalia

The red circle and arrow indicate the genitals of the Elden Ring horse as it crosses the mountainside.

I don’t want to believe.
Screenshot: FromSoftware / Bandai Namco / Kotaku

FromSoftware hype Antique ring has reached critical mass for diehard fans in the form of highly unorthodox debates. Surprisingly, the current discourse around the long-awaited Souls-similar game is not focused on the same tired online controversy over reusable animation… Oh no, this is an argument about whether horses have members in the game or not.

V Reddit discussion post with a spoiler and tags “unsafe for work” Reddit user asiuhds posted a post titled “WARNING VERY IMPORTANT DISCOVERY”. Clicking on the mosaic preview image opens a low-quality screenshot from Antique ringofficial gameplay trailer with a red circle drawn around a dark shape that might be trash from a horse climbing a cliff side. Horse Dickgate enters.

Surely this isn’t about FromSoftware deliberately showing off its equestrian genitals with HDR support and ray tracing, right? Again, this is perhaps what the creative minds are counting on when they include this image in the trailer. Since I had the unfortunate privilege of diving down this strange rabbit hole on Antique ring subreddit, I will curse you with some highlights from the discourse.

Typed on Reddit user estenombre says, “I was expecting a big big spoiler … I’m not disappointed IMAO.”

“Hopefully this has been fixed. I want a flopper, ”wrote user Trick_Inevitable6043. They also turned out to be the best commentator on the post, receiving a Silver Award for their humble contribution.

The “prolific commentator” and “avid voter” The_Jolly_Bengali made me ride with my comment. While I hoped they would be the voice of reason, claiming that the appendage was just a sheath of a sword, they let me down.

“In fairness, what you see here is most likely just a shell with a penis pulled inward,” they wrote. My faith in humanity is fading.

While many other comments were derived from redditors typing various ring-on-dick combinations with the name of the game, Redditor Stardraconis, my golden calf, typed what I thought and hypothesized that the theorists’ big foot phenomenon was in fact, it can be just a foot – the left leg of a person riding a horse, that is. Apparently Reddit is a budding comedian’s paradise because user Devoidofimagination jokingly agreed, posting that it was probably “about a foot, give or take an inch.” Since I have never interacted with the Soulsborne community, the experience made a terrible first impression on me.

Fortunately, the speech appears to be a joke, as hungry fans await more information for Antique ring knowledge to analyze before diving into the game. For their sake, I hope the horse member debate will end someday. Antique ring comes out on February 25th.




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