Well … shit.
After a year and some changes, and I never saw the beautiful faces of my colleagues in the meat space, and I also have to say goodbye to all of you.
There was a time when I thought this would be my only chance. I convinced myself that I have so little skill and talent that Kotaku was going to be the only place I ever worked and that someone would have to take me off the walls to get me to leave. When Steven Totilo left, I thought that no one would ever risk me like him again, and that I had better do everything in my power so that no one would have a reason to let me go.
But working here with my incredibly talented colleagues and editors, I have grown so much, developed so far beyond scared the woman who started here last May that now I have a great opportunity to spread my wings and to fly…
Despite all my grief over the departure of dear friends, I am not sad. Today he gave me a great gift – a sign with the inscription: “Everything is in order. You can go.
Back in November I wrote a blog about holes… I enjoyed writing this blog. I myself made his image and was pleased with this work. But due to a rather bland and derisive blog about trypophobia and why the Xbox Series X can’t be my console, I’ve suffered the worst persecution I’ve ever experienced in all the years I’ve been a black woman in the world. Internet. During the week, people sent me emails filled with trigger images, just out of cruelty reasons.
I survived that time. I can remember that moment with glee, laughing, that I made some of you so angry that you took the time to send me so many damn letters.
Today thanks to goodwill Final Fantasy XIV director Naoki Yoshida, I was able to revive the spirit of this blog, write more about holes…
Another bone of contention with my haters is whenever I write about black people doing something in video games. A couple of weeks ago, I blogged about Linda Guillory, a black woman from Texas who earned two Guinness records for her collection of vintage handheld slot machines.
The headline read: “Black woman sets two world records for her huge vintage gaming collection“And people blew up the shit again for something that was supposed to be so harmless.
After this blog, I got in touch with Ms. Guillory and listened to her tell me her story of how she put together such a beautiful collection. Today is my last day this story is alive…
I like it when things have symmetry. I love book holders. I was able to end my last day in Kotaku write about things that represent my time here. My favorite works were about Black people in games… My favorite game that I discovered while working here is The final Fantasy XIV… Least favorite was the blog about holes. Today I miraculously managed to find a way to write about all of these things by closing my chapter here, giving my heart the punctuation it needs to move on.
I will miss (some) you. Take heart that I will still be in game journalism, be horny at home and write about Black people does Black things in video games Black-ily… Thanks for what you taught me, thanks for sharing. I am not saying goodbye, see you later.
If I could sum my time in Kotaku in one quote it will be one of slept forever Paper Mario: King of Origami…
“This is what every Bob-Omb hopes for – a chance to change something for the better. To impress. “
I really hope so.