8 times I cried ugly in Kingdom Hearts

WARNING SPOILER! In the next article, Stewart discusses some pretty colossal spoilers as he takes us on an emotional and tearful journey through Kingdom Hearts. If you haven’t played games and are sensitive to spoilers, we recommend coming back in a year or so once you’ve played a lot. Otherwise, we warn you that some annoying events are discussed in detail.

Of course, if you haven’t played the games, all this will not make any sense, but you have been warned!

Look, I am well aware that such a feature systematically destroys my still undisputed authority in the field of game writing. But the time comes, my friends. The time is coming!

I fucking love Kingdom Hearts, me. The show is as stupid as a brush, but where would we be without brushes? Fences will be unpainted, hair disheveled, mascara applied haphazardly! …

I’m not sure what I’m getting at. The factMy emotional attachment to Square-Enix’s insanely insane action RPG series is damn strong, and there have been times when, I admit, I’ve come close to shedding a few tears. Okay, crying awful. Flowing mucous membranes and tears, maybe even a little blood. I said it was ugly.

With the announcement that the Switch will receive cloud-based versions of the Kingdom Hearts series, which in itself sparked a wave of ugly crying – why not port the PS3 versions ?! – now seems like a good time to present this blatantly awkward list of eight times Kingdom Hearts made me cry like a little kid at a scary wedding.

Kingdom Hearts (2002): Heartless Sora

Well, of course I had to start with that. Since the last keyhole in the Hollow Bastion is still incomplete and Kairi is in a borderline comatose state, her heart has been transferred to Sora, the spiky-haired protagonist naturally uses the keyblade of Ansem to POINT HIMSELF IN THE HEART, thereby freeing her own Kairi’s heart and bringing her back to consciousness, while at the same time transforming him into one of the admittedly cute little Heartless creatures.

An unselfish sacrifice, and while, yes, it is reversed relatively quickly, it is still an important point in the series in which they are combined.

This guy (Image: Square Enix / Disney / Nintendo)

Kingdom Hearts (2002): club leader appears

Watch! It’s me! At the very end of the original Kingdom Hearts, after an uphill battle with Ansem, who should appear for the first time besides Walt Disney’s beloved parasite, Michael Mouse.

Emerging from bright light in silhouette, much like the corporate god he really is, King Mickey’s debut (because that’s him) is an iconic moment in the series, conjuring up fond gaming memories of games like Castle of Illusion, Magical Quest and of course – Kid Clown in Night Mayor World (look for it).

Cynicism aside, the glorious magical hegemony of Walt Disney’s Mickey Mouse Masterpiece is a truly remarkable moment in a game that seems to be made of stardust, bonbons, and pretty girl kisses. A joyous victory based on mice.

Kingdom Hearts II (2005): The Fate of Roxas

Oh, this one will sting. Oh it bad… And at release it was fully Lacking Context – The game that explains (almost) everything, Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days, didn’t appear until four years later, completely reimagining the previously condemned Twilight City prologue to Kingdom Hearts 2 as the absolute brutal cast brass tragedy it really is.

The gradual destruction of Roxas’ falsified existence, the transition from borderline utopia to terrifying uncertainty, and – ultimately – Sora’s discovery, which leads to his Nobody’s heartbreaking proclamation that his “summer vacation” is over. By this he means his existence… SOB.

Kingdom Hearts II (2005): Dumb Fucking Dies

Just before the biggest massive battle in Kingdom Hearts II, Goofy – yes, it’s a funny Disney slip – gets hit in the head with a rock and dies.

Yes, he’s killed. He receives a severe brain injury and instantly loses consciousness. Sora and Donald experience bouts of guilt and fear over this senseless murder, while the current King Mickey simply clenches his fist and announces: “They will pay for this.”

Yes, it’s fun, but think of it this way – who will deliver the news to Max? Roxanne squeezes his hand as he hums sadly “Gavrsh”

No, no, I’m fine. Everything is fine with me. (to sniff)

Kingdom Hearts II (2005): Sora leaves Twilight City

Listen … Kingdom Hearts II is really heartbreaking, okay? In fact, this is the essence of the entire series. A lot of games revolve around his story, and it pays off so many emotional paths started – which is pretty confusing – titles that came out later

Again, the full impact of this scene won’t wow you until you’ve played (or watched) 358/2 Days, but the familiar of nostalgia still hits you when you leave this town. Sora feels it too – feels it something he does not yet know if the unknown, invisible agony of Roxas is due to his simple habit of existence, which emerges inside Sora and manifests itself as a single unexplained tear.

Roxas’ friends Hayner, Pence and Olette watch as the train pulls away from the station, carrying the last remnants of their forgotten friend. And they yearn for something, but they never know what.

WAAAAAAAAAAA. (Emits a comedy beep)

Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days (2009): Sea Salt Ice Cream

The most underrated game in the series, Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days is a tragic tale of futility and delusion where the protagonist is convinced that he is who he is not and is convinced that he is not something he so many

Said that he is incapable of emotions – despite the fact that he clearly shows them throughout the adventure – Roxas – Nobody, just the shadow of a real hero. But he is much more than that, and the earthiness of his existence and the extent to which he is a victim of abuse and gaslighting make his relationship with fellow Organization XIII members Axel and Xion all the more important.

The closest he has to an ordinary friendship is that after dinner he sat on the clock tower of Twilight City and ate ice cream with sea salt. And when his friend Sion ends up being another ruse – another brutal twist – he is forced to fight her. In a scene that is often laughed at, often taken out of context, he mourns his fallen friend with an embarrassed, broken “Who will I eat ice cream with!?” At first glance, this is ridiculous, but after 30 hours of such dynamics, you know that this is the only frame of reference he has for “friendship.” And boy, oh boy, it hurts.

Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep (2010): Bring Me an End.

Torn between the inevitability of his fate and the desire to protect friends Terra and Aqua, sweet, naive young Ventus ignores the consolations and platitudes of his peers and directly declares his desire to die. “I ask you as a friend. Just put an end to me. “

The Kingdom Hearts series has a surprising number of suicidal themes, but they never come to the fore as directly as they do here in this humble PSP prequel. This is a bit of a deep blow and perhaps the most disturbing moment in the series’ history.

Kingdom Hearts III (2019): When It Was Announced

God, how long has it been since Kingdom Hearts 2? Announced in 2013 – eight years after its direct predecessor – Kingdom Hearts III took another six years to really hit the market. And while your experience may vary, it did not disappoint, offering a truly epic new batch of Disney worlds, beautiful emotional story leads with a heart in your sleeve, long rewards and redemptions, and, of course, a start. about something even crazier in the next phase of the Kingdom Hearts series – a series often ridiculed for its ridiculous, convoluted storyline.

And so it is. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. Have you learned it by heart?

All of these and more will be available to Switch owners after the controversial cloud-based version of the core games launches on Switch soon. Let us know which of those moments you barked into your controller below and which ones you would add to your personal KH Tear People list.

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