The Cow Rebellion Has Begun
Perhaps tired of America’s frightening mass murder ritual, cows across the country have decided to do something else and go somewhere. We may not know why or where because we can’t talk to them, but the thought process was probably over on the lines of: There’s something going on somewhere. Baby, I just know there is. Moo.
On Thursday, the Los Angeles Times said that moving story of a cow that has come to that pasture in the sky. Tuesday night will be about 7:30 p.m., she said he remembers he took a break for it, along with 39 others, from a slaughterhouse in Pico Rivera, California. Los Angeles ABC affiliate KABC-TV counted a dramatic and terrifying two-day hunt through suburban roads and artificial quadrants of grass and unknown plants. Pico Rivera city director Steve Carmona told KABC-TV that one seemed to charge a child because he was “moo,” probably, and a deputy shot him in the head because it’s a man’s world, for sure. .
Authorities said by 10:20 a.m., they had rounded most of them up in a cul-de-sac and put them in trailers.
Except for one girl, who was released until police tracked her down in a park Thursday! A local animal sanctuary exempted her from having a sore throat while she was upside down with her friends!
Her story is perhaps the most successful for this cow week Logan’s run. Three West Virginia cows of the same mind were also released Monday night in Bluefield, West Virginia, where witnesses observed three rogue souls emerging from the woods and jumping on a vehicle, the Bluefield Daily Telegraph reported, before deciding to stage a silent protest on the train tracks. The newspaper said police took more than an hour to corral the cows in a trailer.
Another herd of unspecified size also escaped a cattle truck which rolled over on Interstate 64 on Thursday afternoon in Huntington, West Virginia and fled across a bridge to Ohio, a police the Associated Press. While neither Huntington police nor the dispatcher were able to confirm the number of cows, a police spokesman told Gizmodo that locals were presented with cattle trailers to help. They were not aware of what became of the cows.
A dispatcher told Gizmodo that three or four are probably still dead. We don’t know where they are (except for those who obviously died in the accident, a dispatcher said), but hopefully they’ll be out claiming a small patch of green in a paved hell.